9. Top Ten CatchphrasesHere at TSC, we are naturally loathe to instigate lengthy discussions. What use is protracted, empty discourse on a common topic when independently reasoned conclusions on stilted values remain the pervading interpretations for all invested parties with snappy one-liners, crude puns, and rickrolls attaining the same effect in a more honest fashion in a shorter time frame? Invariably, certain people regurgitate the same few defense mechanisms, which then become the means by which we identify, stereotype and ridicule them. Hail these notable mannerisms.
10 - RPG: mmmballsRPG's infatuation with balls is *now* legendary. He is predisposed towards an amicable love for all species of balls - bouncy ones, rubbery ones, furry ones, smooth ones, big ones, small ones, some as big as your head (and bigger!), multi-coloured ones, plain ones. As long as there are balls, especially lots of them, RPG will stare fawningly on, glistening doe eyes in awe, while a reverential smile waxes for all and sundry.
In celebration of RPG's libido for the round, I found him some (barely legal) ball on ball pornography. I hope that as a spectator he has a very happy, satisfying top 10; it's been hard for him so far with all this free time.
9-Stefan: what Arguments, see attached flowchart:
Well, he said he'd quit TSC if we included "what" as his catchphrase...so here's something else. An argument with Stefan is formulaic; tell him something offensive, log the conversation, wait a day, say something else offensive, and compare the two for a comedic effect. Stefan wanders the streets at night looking for innocents to whallop with a pillow sack crammed with quarters and a lot of "whats" rolled with barbed exaggerations under the guise of objectivity. Careful, it leaves a nasty sting because he brings it with him on fox hunts. It's really not a catch phrase in the exact sense of the word, but because it's 4 in the morning, I don't even care whether this is funny or encourages comradery. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
8- Shadowjacky: Shit!SJ doesn't curse like a sailor...he curses like a sailor with spiky hair wearing a leather jacket, faded jeans, and shades riding a motorcycle while smoking a cigarette, drinking a beer, and shooting at squirrels. His comments are filled with enough vulgarities to shame even those especially coarse grandmothers. Zeph recently compiled a list of SJ's more notable comments (Zeph edit: link not available; see attachment instead), though to save time our analyses indicate that they all arc towards this general meaning with slight variability in expression: "shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit gay fuck fuck fuck shit shit shit shit shit fuck fuck shit shit fuck fuck shit fuck this shit shit fuck fuck ass gay gay shit shit shit fuck fuck shit shit fuck fuck fuck fuck". It's rumored that JackieChan comes from a sun stricken land in the far east, trained by sensei with particularly abrasive cases of tourrettes syndrome, though the ineffable nature of his stoic character and that really cool surgical mask obfuscates any postulation.
7- Zeph/SBW: >:O!!!Aka THE FAEC, this is used by Zeph and SBW in their role as chatroom ops to mean "I am extremely displeased with the current state of affairs and will be laying down the law forthwith in no uncertain manner!". Use of THE FAEC by anyone other than these two is punishable by death, though several recent cases have stirred controversy by raising a justification defense that use of THE FAEC is warranted when responding to Zeph's abuse of the net split button. Because of political pressure, several judges have commuted sentences to a good whacking from Zeph's signature steel toed boot instead of capital punishment. THE FAEC is the most powerful emoticon known to man, said to be the only thing in the entire universe that scares RPG and keeps him in line - hence it is probably the most valuable invention in the history of our beloved teh intarwebs.
6- CherryMay: :(CherryMay pioneered universal appraisal of genocides, rainy Saturdays, headaches, breakups, toothaches, new friends, old friends, too many decisions, too few decisions, death, lack of tigers, and general calamity - though for the uninitiated, it is also acceptable to respond to general delights in this fashion. It makes Cherry sad that she can't be happy, and her manic depression is iconic in the purest comprehensible form. In a 288 day interval, 22.1% of her 34730 lines contained the ':(' emoticon, which itself is the most common emoticon with 49755 uses. I'd say more but I think its status as a catch phrase is self evident :(
5- SkyLights: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (80 lines omitted for brevity)To communicate with the Gods of Old, the Oracle of Delphi fasted and consumed hallucinatory alms, speaking in tongues to a learned holy man. To communicate with Tikal, SkyLights doesn't take his medication and says
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (80 lines omitted for brevity) to laymen capable of deriving only an abstruse declaration of distress from the fabled deity. There is a Draconian code governing its usage: only a few righteous, discerning methadone addicts who have conversed with Tikal may declare her will. Defying this law is a sacrilege of sufficient magnitude to warrant a disapproving look and Sky's proclamation of 2/10, though even those honored few cleared to employ
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (80 lines omitted for brevity) must exhibit restraint and avoid its overuse by never using it at all. While
it -is- their right, thankfully we live in a totalitarian state and any such exercise of civil liberties is punishable by banhammer to the face.
4- The Channel: PPA is a furry//PPA:I'M NOT A FURRY!!!!!!Ever since
this topic, PPA has been in quarantine away from TSC's healthy, uncorrupted members . Consequently, any discussion involving PPA, animals, anthropomorphised animal-type characters, taxidermists, anthropomorphised animal-type characters who are taxidermists, the relative tactile merits of polyester over felt, sexual fetishes, and other cursory topics tangentially revisit his furfaggotry. It's TSC's flavorful Godwin, a manifestation of our site's myopic, misanthropic meditations. "
I'M NOT A FURRY!!!!!! is PPA's banal retort to these statements alleging that he has peculiar erotic tastes. Naturally, it doesn't work because we all know that PPA loves hot, jungle loving. He says it loud and he says it often, leaving the objective observer to wonder just who he's trying to convince. Given the
Kübler-Ross model, we can make reasonable assumptions about his future responses. With transitional phases, it's possible that some of these phrases will blend, and equally his psychology may be such that some steps will be skipped entirely; however, we can approximately expect "No, you're the furry", " I'm not really a furry because I like real girls", "I don't care anymore", and finally "it's not a big deal that I'm a furry". But oh, PPA, how it is. Though as this is TSC's 5th anniversary, and should be a happy occasion, we wish PPA a speedy rehabilitation so that he may enjoy a gradual reintegration into normal society. Don't give up PPA, we love the part of you that doesn't love Katt (but not like that)!
3- RPG: Hey dude, welcome to the site =)This catchphrase was RPG's favoured greeting for new members, but its dignity was tarnished when other members stole it to selfishly make others feel welcome. Everyone's favourite homicidal maniac didn't take kindly to this, and started a campaign of senseless, brutal murder against anyone who used it in a welcome topic. Fortunately, this spike in fatalities didn't scare off too many newbies...though as our cemetery's gatekeeper, his wife the pharmacist, and his brother the bellhop collectively suspect, this isn't necessarily a good thing. RPG's killing spree even found its way into its own topic
(topic link here, don't just leave the filler in here this time genus).
2- GerbilSoft: no uGerbil's weapon of choice, this is an infallible, bulletproof comeback to everything. Ever. When you say 'no u' in an argument, you win; your opponent completely deflates, then everything loves you and hot chicks start coming round to your place to let you know just how amazing you are. The secret to weight loss is 'no u', it improves your love life, it can even get this wine stain out of your whites! Don't try -that- with just any colloquialism! The more you say "no u", the better your life will be, so say "no u" proudly! Say it with a friend, say it to an enemy! Stick it on any surface: walls, refrigerators, windows, you name it! Act now, and you'll even get a free *facepalm*, perfect for showing your kids just who's boss! You must act now, though; 'no u' will be banned minutes after this post! Call now!
1- mike89: I call BS!Or the less eloquent, "I call bullshit!". This venerable catchphrase was born in a raging typhoon some miles south of mainland Japan as Mike's warcry against the tide of n00bs that is forever bombarding our charts, but now it is a complete mainstay of all TSCers for any untruth, no matter the relative severity of the perceived infraction (ex: "<PPA> I'm not a furry! <Douglas> I call BS!"). It's also used by n00bs incapable of understanding how much we pwn -it has become a rite of initiation for all new members to call BS on DarkspinesSonic, our current sitewide champion (who recently waxed philosophical about his cheating, lieing, blackness, and puppy strangling in the best-selling self help book
Cheating, Lieing, Being Black, and Puppy Strangling: How I Became TSC's Top Player, and How You Can Too), and their subsequent hazing only strengthens our fraternal bond. "I call BS" can also refer to calling 'blue shells', 'blue skips', 'banal saliency', 'bachelor of science', 'bachelor of surgery', 'backspace', 'BASIC', 'BellSouth', 'BioShock', 'blood sugar', 'boy scouts', 'British Sugar', though it won't so don't be so gullible next time.
Our topic for next time will be. .
top 10 nicknames...
Let the games continue!
